Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
