If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Your penis caused this!
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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