He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
