Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
