I wanna bring you to show and tell
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
