I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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