quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
