it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
