i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
