Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
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