they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Congratulations! We have a period
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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