We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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