Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
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