so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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