You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
