All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
