god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
