I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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