you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize