We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
