Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
