My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
