in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
