So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
