yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
