I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
