Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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