She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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