so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
