your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
