I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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