I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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