You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
