When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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