Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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