you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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