I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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