so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
