You made me cry and you don't even care
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
