My room smells like vodka and shame
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
