So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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