I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
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