Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
