i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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