Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
