Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
