Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
