wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
