The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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