My nipple is on Facebook.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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