Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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