Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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