ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
