there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
