u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
