What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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