u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
