This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Farmville is her only friend.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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