i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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