it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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