is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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