Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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